THE HAND OF GOD

Another weird pregnancy dream. I live on the outskirts of Tornado Alley, and I tend to have dreams about tornados during tornado season. So, couple that with my growing frame and pregnancy hormones, and you have some bizaare dreams. Here is the latest.

I was driving to the store with my children, when the sky blackened and the clouds became the consistency of frozen black Jello. Worried that a tornado was imminent, I pulled into the parking lot of an office building and dragged my cherubs inside to wait out the storm.

Instead of seeing tornados, however, I saw a large, black, handshaped cloud reach down, grab a car, shake it vigorously, then drop it. Everyone in the dream started yelling about the "hand of God" cloud, and scattered for cover. Now, apparently, the only way to escape the "hand of God" cloud was to squeeze into a small, windowless space. And that's where the pregnancy hormones entered. It wasn't hard for me to squeeze my cherubs into small places, but I also had to find a way to get my enormous uterus into that same, tight space.

I don't remember the rest of the dream, except that we ended up at a children's birthday party. Yeah, strange.

I guess pregnancy makes me feel a bit claustrophobic. When I was pregnant with Bean, I had a floor-length, denim slipdress that was loose on me when I was not pregnant, but was form-fitting enough to make my belly feel supported while I was pregnant. At least, it was supportive when I first put it on.

On the forty-minute drive to work, I began to feel slightly squished and uncomfortable in the dress, and I started to wonder if I had made a mistake in my choice of clothing. As the day progressed, I grew increasingly panicked as the dress seemed to shrink on me and restrict my breathing. I kept eyeing the scissors on my desk, wondering how unprofessional it would really be for a legal assistant to walk around with the side of her dress cut open. By the time I got home, I was almost in hysterics. I walked into the house, screaming for my husband to get that horrible dress off and burn it in the back yard.

And that is the last time I ever wore that dress. And that is how far off-track I got from the beginning of this post, which was supposed to focus on my weird pregnancy dream.