Thursday, April 29, 2010


It doesn't matter how clean you get the floor or how much you babyproof, babies will always find the one little thing you missed and put it into their mouths.  Add a five-year-old and and almost-four-year-old to the mix, and it's an adventure waiting to happen.  Here are some things I have pulled out of my baby's mouth:

potting soil
Hershey's kiss foil wrapper
crayon paper
used Barbie Band-aid
grass clippings
Barbie shoe
toilet paper (unused, thank you very much)
Saxon homeschool math manipulatives (counting bears and pattern blocks)
Dora Christmas ornament

So, what are some things you've pulled out of your babies' mouths?

Wednesday, April 28, 2010


I must admit that I was a bit self-congratulatory every time I heard one of those nightmare stories about little girls cutting big chunks out of their hair.  After all, I'd made it 5 1/2 years without so much as an attempt by my children at self-styling.  I invested in Melissa & Doug safety scissors that were guaranteed not to cut hair, clothing, or skin (they don't even cut paper that well, but such is the price one must pay to save one's children's hair).

I guess what happened was really a result of several different events, a "perfect storm," if you will.  First, I noticed that the cherubs' hair was getting long and, consequentially, harder to brush without tantrums.  So, I off-handedly mentioned to Bean that she and Cakes were going to need haircuts.

Later that day, Bean was helping Grammy in the garden, using scissors to cut weeds while Grammy planted vegetables.  As Grammy watched Bean, she was reminded of the time I cut my own hair when I was three years old.  She chuckled as she shared this story with Bean.

Now, combine the last two paragraphs with a five-year-old's (non-existent) patience level, and disaster is sure to ensue.  I'll blame it on the shingles, but somehow no alarm bells went off when Bean later said to me, "Mom, I'm going to go pray to Jesus," walked into her room, and shut the door.

When she came out 15 minutes later, she was missing several large chunks of hair, including a big piece from the front, and was carrying a hairball roughly four inches in diameter.  Well, the deed was done, so there was no use panicking after the fact.  I calmly explained to her that only grown-ups who know how to cut hair should cut hair.  Then I made a quick call to Aunt Kimmy, who is a hairdresser, and had her come fix everything.  Six inches of hair was removed from Bean (and Cakes, who was not about to be left out of the hair-cutting festivities), and we all assumed she had learned her lesson.

But yesterday, Grampy was complaining of a headache.  Bean offered to rub his head to make him feel better.  After rubbing his head for a few minutes, Bean observed, "Grampy, your hair sure is getting long."  From behind her back, Bean pulled out a pair of scissors ...

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


It's been quite a while.  We have been battling one illness after the next here in the Crazy Lane.  First, we all got colds.  That turned into RSV.  After we recovered from that, we were hit with Strep.  As the girls got better, I actually got ... are you ready for it?  Shingles!  Shingles?!  I'm not 80, for goodness sake! 

At any rate, the shingles have just about cleared up, right in time for ... PINK-EYE!  Cakes, Peanut, and I have all been stricken with goopy, itchy eyes.  Are you ready for my treatment?  BREASTMILK!!!  I learned from a friend of mine that breastmilk works wonders when it comes to ear infections and pink-eye. 

As soon as Peanut woke up with her eyes fused shut, I immediately took aim and fired with my organic home remedy.  However, as you can imagine, the "guns" were not designed for accuracy.  The result was 15 minutes of screaming and spraying before I achieved the desired result.  After that, I wised up.  I now collect the homemade antibiotic in a cup, line up the children, dump it into their eyes, and have them blink to flush their eyes out.  I even added Bean to the assembly line, as a pre-emptive strike.

It's working!!!!  Peanut's in much better spirits and is losing that goopy, glassy-eyed look that accompanies pink-eye.  Cakes' pink-eye has been contained to one eye, which is clearing up nicely.  And Bean has yet to be stricken.  My eyes are also clearing up nicely.

And so Mommy, the human pharmacy, carries on and is trying to catch up on the blogging.