I didn't sleep very well the other night. We live out in the middle of nowhere, and have very few neighbors. Unfortunately, one of those very few neighbors is into partying on the weekends. Loud partying. So, I was lying awake, listening to the bass thump through the walls of my house at 1:15 a.m., debating whether or not to call one of the five police officers in my small town to come ask them to turn the music down a little bit.
After the partying, Cakes started having a turbulent night. So, I ended up in a twin bed with her, trying to keep her calm and quiet so as not to wake Bean, who was sleeping in the top bunk. And, of course, pregnant me has to pee every five seconds. Oh, the wonderful things pregnancy does to the body. And the mind.
In my few minutes of sleep between loud music, the toilet, and a shrieking cherub, I had one of what I refer to as my "pregnancy dreams." My dreams take on a rather bizaare angle when I'm pregnant. Once I'm in my third trimester, my dreams usually involve me being stuck in a very small space, my only escape being through a tiny opening that I couldn't possible squeeze my enormous, pregnant self through. Or being stuck in the tunnel section of some amusement park ride. Those dreams seem rather self-explanatory, don't you think? But, the dreams during my first two trimesters are just plain weird. So, without further ado, a glimpse into the sleeping pregnant mind ...
I was standing in my parents' bathroom, looking in the mirror to see if I was starting to develop the "baby bump," when I noticed that my belly button looked swollen (as an aside, my belly button grows to the size of a golf ball and protrudes off center very early in my pregnancies). So, I squeezed it. A little drop of water came out. I squeezed it some more. Water started gushing out of my navel like a faucet. Fortunately for me, there was an empty aquarium on my parents' bathroom counter, so I positioned myself over the aquarium and proceeded to squeeze all the water out of my belly button. After I had squeezed out every last drop of liquid, I looked into the aquarium and saw that, in addition to water flowing forth from my navel, a variety of large tropical fish had also come out. Some of the fish were as big as my hand, while others were the size of a pencil eraser. And then, I woke up.
And, there you have it. Strange.
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